As of today I am closer to 40 than to 30. Yikes! I want to say I still feel like a kid but no. I have aches and pains that I never expected. I broke my foot this year walking down a sidewalk. I am up by 6am but wish I could take a nap everyday. I get the WORST hangovers ever. Yet somehow I still wonder – “what am I going to do when I grow up?” That is because I do not feel qualified to be a real, responsible, bonafide adult. I want to run around and throw water balloons at my husband, drink wine, watch movies in the park, dance like a fool at concerts, camp in the woods and relax in the swimming pool. Growing up I always thought adults were serious. They went to work to pay the bills and came home at night and told you what to do. They were role models – teachers, parents, people to look up to. And, on this my 36th birthday, I still don’t feel like I am there.
I always thought there was a moment when you suddenly felt all grown up. But I keep waiting. It didn’t happen when I went away to college. Or when I picked up and moved to New York City. For sure I thought I would feel like an adult at the closing table on my first home. Nope. When I got married I was having so much fun that I could not possibly consider myself an adult. Maybe after the birth of my first child I would finally feel prepared for the role of parent / adult? Nope. Frankly, I felt more like – “who the heck left me in charge of another person’s life??” Then I had a second child. Still nothing.
Maybe there never is a “moment” when you suddenly feel like an adult? It is a slow evolution. First you want to stay home on a Friday night rather than go out to a bar. Staying out until 2am terrifies you. Then you want to BBQ in the backyard instead of going to a fancy restaurant. You move to the suburbs. You don’t love the idea of taking some exotic vacation if it requires sleeping on the floor or some other uncomfortable location. You get picky, set in your ways. You develop a rhythm to your life and before you know it you are staring 40 in the face and voila’ – you are an ADULT! 
I think you never feel like a full-fledged adult because there is no real definition of adulthood. It doesn’t mean boring and responsible the way I thought when I was a child. You can still have fun and be an adult. You just understand a little bit more about life and what’s important. So today is the birthday when I am going to finally face the music and admit that I have crossed the threshold into adulthood. Today I know I am finally an adult because the one thing I want to do to celebrate on this birthday more than anything else is exactly what I am doing – spending time with my kiddos! Thank you to everyone for sending so many birthday wishes, reminding me that the true beauty of adulthood is being able to enjoy the many friends and loved ones you have collected over the years.