The Waiting Game

I am 41 weeks pregnant and at that point when everyday seems like an eternity.  My husband and I thought we would have a baby by now so we’ve put everything in our lives on hold, my mother has been in town for two weeks waiting to meet the baby and the rest of my family reaches out daily to see if there is any news.  We have tried everything.  Twice this weekend we ate the spiciest food I could handle, yesterday I took my two-year-old on a 2 ½ mile hike to the park and everyone in the family has been yelling at the belly telling the baby to “come out.”  (Yes, we’ve even tried sex and nipple stimulation – as fun as that is with a 30 pound belly)

Due dates are a funny thing.  They are completely made up and only five percent of women deliver on their due dates.  But in the US there is this huge emphasis placed on this made-up date and when the day comes and goes with no baby everyone wonders what happened.  In fact, 20 percent of women in this country just schedule their babies – either an induction or a cesarean section – to accommodate their busy schedules.  I understand that.  As a full-time working mother it would make life a lot easier to know exactly when the baby is coming.  I could schedule my life around the date instead of putting everything on hold.  But I happen to believe that childbirth is a natural phenomenon and should happen in its own time.

My first child was induced.  I went to the hospital a week after his due date having contractions and was told that I was stalled.  Either I could go home or be induced.  My family voted for an induction.  I was so exhausted and scared that I coalesced.  I was dead set on having a natural childbirth but as soon as I agreed to an induction the anesthesiologist came to visit.  I quickly sent him away but not without a second thought.  The doctor and I fought so much over “the plan” that she didn’t come back until the baby’s head was out.  13 hours after being induced I gave birth to an 8 pound 6 ounce baby boy.  He had been sunny side up and I had to spend hours walking and moving around to get him to turn around before he could be delivered.  If I had an epidural this would never have been possible.  But the pain was nearly unbearable.  And this is why your risk of a cesarean section goes up by 50 percent when you are induced.

Other countries do not “start the clock” on you the way they do here in the US.  Kate Middleton was past her due date when she gave birth this summer.  They didn’t push her to an induction.  Instead they encouraged a natural birth.  And after many hours of labor she too had an 8 pound 6 ounce baby boy the natural way.

This week I will be faced with a variety of difficult decisions.  It’s the week that doctors in the US really “start the clock” on you.  I know my aunts had babies that were weeks late back in the 70’s but that is no longer allowed in this country.  42 weeks is the limit.

I think that in the US we like to have too much control.  We fear the unknown.  We hate pain.  And we like to plan.  Unfortunately, child birth is totally uncontrollable, unknown and painful.  Sadly, it has become plan-able.  So, to all of my friends and family who keep asking, “when are you going to have a baby already?!” I will tell you – they won’t let me wait another week.  So, we will certainly be spending next weekend with our new baby girl.  “Start the clock” now.