Last week we went to Thanksgiving at my mother-in-law’s house. She made sure to invite other kids so my two-year-old would have friends to play with. But when the kids arrived they were all glued to their tablets (an Ipad and a Kindle Fire). My son tried kicking the soccer ball with them and they could not be bothered. He pulled out some blocks but found himself building alone. Soon he was begging to go home, feeling totally isolated around the kids we thought he could play with. This really made me start thinking about today’s children and technology.
My husband and I had been debating buying our son some sort of tablet for Christmas and this solidified the decision in my mind: NO WAY. My child is incredibly social and I don’t want to buy him a toy that makes him ignore other children and retreat into his own insular, computerized world. I am sure many people will disagree as there are tons of educational programs offered for children these days on tablets. In fact, my son has been playing them since he was just a few months old. But I really hope that we can get back to basics: kicking the ball, playing outside, reading books.
We are no strangers to technology. In fact, I would say we are a little technology obsessed in the Lewis household. We wake up and check our phones in bed every morning. We have tablets, Apple TV, Iphones. We control everything from our TVs to our heat with fancy new apps. And our two-year-old has an old blackberry and iphone to play with. He has become so familiar with “second screen” devices that he tried to “swipe” away a woman we were interviewing on Skype the other day. 
All this makes me wonder if this is the right way to raise children? I didn’t have a cell phone until I was a senior in college (I know I am showing my age). I know today we live in a very different world but as I navigate this path called parenthood I need to really evaluate when the right time is for my kids to have phones, computers, tablets, etc. A recent study showed that 38 percent of children under two had used an Ipad, many before they could speak. All my friends who are teachers complain about kids who are texting, snapchatting and instagramming in class. They are not talking or passing notes. They are snapchatting. This makes it hard to find a balance between wanted to keep up and wanting to make sure that my kids still have time to be kids and exercise their imaginations.
I worry that children are not learning the important social skills they will need later in life. They are just hiding behind their electronics. The TV producer/mom in me worries about a million other things as well. Will my child meet some violent predator online? Will my son become obsessed with video games and become totally desensitized the way Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold and Adam Lanza did? Will my kids be bullied online and eventually commit suicide the way so many others in this country have? After all, children who never have to face each other in person are the worst bullies.
I have heard all kinds of advice – make sure the computer is in the family living room and not your kid’s room, block their devices from accessing dangerous programs, make sure they don’t give out personal information online, be their Facebook friends and most importantly – stay involved with their lives and their computer usage. I still worry this will not be enough. And who knows what technology will exist by the time my kids graduate High School.
I want my son to learn to get along with people in the real world, not the virtual world. But denying him access to all of these new gadgets could make him the “uncool” kid at school. So, I ask you – when is the right time to give your kid a phone and/or tablet? How do you make sure they don’t get carried away with it? I appreciate any and all advice.