Quest for the Perfect Christmas Card

Even before the release of the Royal Family’s quintessential Christmas card photo I felt bombarded by perfect families and their perfect Christmas photos. First it was the fancy Tiny Prints catalogs that arrived in the mail, showing glitter and foil stamped cards featuring beautiful, smiling families.  Then posts from Kendra Wilkinson and Tori Spelling showed up in my feed talking about how happy they were with their Christmas cards and depicting the most picture perfect families I have ever seen. And finally my neighbors starting talking about their favorite family photographers and the amazing photos they had taken for their cards this year. Something snapped in me and I became OBSESSED.  I have two adorable children and I HAD to show them off.  I NEEDED a perfect Christmas card.

We do not do family photos.  We tried it once when my son was first born and it was so expensive we vowed not to make the same mistake twice. Last year a neighbor offered to take some photos for us.  She was so kind and patient and we ended up with a pretty cute card (if I do say so myself). This year I talked it through with my husband pleading “won’t we regret not having photos taken at such a precious time in our kids’ lives?!” Finally he coalesced.  I asked friends for photographer suggestions.  The first one I called told me I would not get the photos back before Christmas.  “Oh NO!!” I thought.  Had I waited to long?  I frantically reached out to other photographers and found one who could do it in time so I booked it.

Then I shopped for coordinating outfits. Two days after Thanksgiving I dressed my family up.  My two-year-old fought me for an hour over the furry vest I had picked out for her.  My son refused to wear the shoes I picked out and I became so fed up that I dug into the closet full of presents meant for Christmas and produced a new pair of boots for him. We had fights over pigtails and cow licks.  My daughter screamed when I forced her to wear pants and socks.  And my son whined about not taking his toys with him.  But I bribed them with the promise of hot chocolate at the end of the photo shoot. By the time we loaded in the car I was already exhausted. As we pulled out of the driveway I checked my email and found an email from the photographer suggesting we reschedule because of the weather.  UGH. I took a family vote and everyone agreed it was better not to take photos in 10 degree weather.  But we still had to go for hot chocolate.

A week later we did it all again.  It was slightly less stressful this time because everyone knew what I expected.  And they looked great.  As we drove to the location I started to realize that we were lost.  We spent 30 minutes burning daylight driving in circles.  Nobody was happy when we finally met up with the photographers.  But they did a great job and the rush to create the perfect card began.

Patience is not my strong point.  We had to wait days to see the photos and then longer to get them all back.  I went through a million designs and then the instant I hit “order” I regretted every decision.  Did I pick the wrong photo? Did I pick the wrong design?  Did our outfits even look good together in the photo?  Was everyone’s hair ok?  Did I look fat? I mean, the list was endless. But it was done.

This experience really made me think about the whole American Christmas card phenomenon.  I love getting cards and catching up on everyone’s lives but I really believe we are all suffering from a modern day form of ‘keeping up with the Jones.’  We are all expected to have families who look like those professional cards you see in the ads, on Facebook and on TV.  As with everything in life this picture of perfection is unattainable.  Somehow the annual Christmas card has come to represent so much more.  Some people attach letters describing all the years’ travels and accomplishments.  Others add a little description to the card itself about how great everyone is doing.   It has become a way to show our friends and loved ones that our lives are perfect – even if they are not.

So I want you all to know that behind this card and there are lots of tears and fights and anything BUT perfection. There is a bratty two-year-old who refused to hug or touch her brother in any photos and a goofy four-year-old who just wanted to make silly faces for the camera.  Please remember that you cannot judge families by the white washed versions of themselves portrayed on a Christmas card (or on Facebook or Instagram). There is a story behind every card, a secret behind every smile and a truth behind every picture.  We are all human and none of us are infallible.

As I drop my Christmas cards in the mail I am trying to remind myself that this season is less about the perfect picture or the perfect tree or the perfect present and more about the quality time you get to spend together.  It is about enjoying the special moments even if they are not perfect.  After this picture was taken my kids fought over if we went out again for hot chocolate or had it at home and of course could not agree.  So we split them up and I took my daughter on a ‘date.’ She took her boots off and insisted on wearing my high heels through the coffee shop. She never drank any of her hot chocolate but guzzled every last bit of my chai. She smiled and laughed the whole time. That was perfection.