I will never forget my first night in the hospital with my first child. I made sure they put him right next to me so I could constantly check that he was still breathing. I wanted to make sure I was there to feed him when he was hungry. And boy was he hungry. He started rooting every 30 minutes or so. After a few hours I called the nurse and asked if this was normal behavior. She assured me it was and all he needed was a pacifier. They brought me one and we all slept much better that night. But from that moment on I had all kinds of problems breastfeeding. My son had reflux issues and started spitting everything back up. He was tested and retested in his first weeks of life. He developed thrush and was given medicine that made him even more sick and he spit even more of his food up. Suddenly I was worried that my 8+ pound baby was going to wither away. I started taking him to weigh-ins at the hospital. I even hired a lactation consultant one night when I was at my wit’s end. Eventually we both got the hang of things. He started eating better and I figured out a rhythm. But it certainly was never easy. I had no idea how difficult breast feeding would be when I committed to it.
Now that I have spent my first week getting to know baby #2 I can see the error of my ways. First, I never ever should have accepted that pacifier. The first thing my new pediatrician said in the hospital was not to use a pacifier. And, as difficult as those first few nights were, I listened. Second, I used to believe that baby’s really ate every three hours. At the time I was trying to still live a bit of my “old life” and would schedule things around those feedings. So when the baby would eat early or late my whole day would be thrown off. This time I recognize that breastfeeding is currently my full-time job. I am on maternity leave. This means my responsibility is to give my child 100%. So, if she wants to eat every two hours it is my job to accommodate. And if she is not hungry for four hours then we just wait. I keep reminding myself that I am not always hungry at regular meal times.
They say newborn babies eat 8-12 times a day. That is 4-6 hours of feeding. And, unlike my old full-time job, there are NO days off. Not holidays or weekends. No nights off. You cannot even take five hours in a row off.
I used to be completely embarrassed by breastfeeding in public. But now I realize if I want to leave the house I am on her schedule and I have to be okay with feeding in public. When my baby girl was four days old we went for sushi and I fed her at the table. I was very discreet and nobody in the restaurant minded one bit. (I remember with my son it took months to feel comfortable feeding in public but once I was used to it I even fed him at a ski area so I could get a few runs in for the season).
I always think of breast milk as “gold.” It is this precious commodity that really is a limited resource. If you are going to be away from the baby for more than two hours you better have some in the freezer. If you want to go out and have a few drinks, you better have some in the freezer. If you get sent away on a work trip you better have a lot in the freezer. Babies should only have breast milk for their first six months so just when you thought your days of not drinking and eating healthy for your baby were over when you gave birth, you have really only just begun. You are still feeding another person.
Many women go back to work before six months and pumping becomes the next big challenge. I was blessed to work from home and have been known to sit on a conference call while pumping. But I know when I have worked out of a regular office it is incredibly awkward to get up and head to some back room every three hours. As accommodating as your workplace may be, there is still a stigma around what you are doing. My office is filled with men who always were cracking jokes about it because they did not know what else to say.
My first work trip I made the mistake of packing a few pieces to my pump in my checked baggage. When I got to security I realized my mistake and my face turned bright red as my eyes welled up with tears. I had to go eight hours without pumping. Would I have any milk left? Would this be the end of breastfeeding for my child? I was horrified. I spent half the flight trying to express milk in the bathroom and ran to the restroom the instant I was reunited with my bag. Luckily my milk supply did not suffer.
I made it through those first six months with baby #1 and my son LOVED real food. He had his first teeth at two months and had nearly all his teeth by seven months. After six months I tried to keep going with breastfeeding part time. Not only was it good for the baby but I was hoping it would help me lose the extras pounds I was still holding onto from pregnancy. But my son kept biting me with that full set of teeth. At seven months I looked him in the eye and said, “You do that again and I’m done.” He looked me straight in the eye and bit down as hard as he could. The End. To all the women out there who chose to breastfeed – Congratulations! Whether you make it one week or one year you are doing what is best for your child. And it is certainly not easy.
My biggest challenge now is trying to explain breastfeeding to my two-year-old. He gets alternately upset and curious when he sees me feed the baby. He thinks the milk is coming from my belly and he does not understand why the baby can’t eat chocolate bars. If anyone has any advice on what I should say, please send it my way.