Learning to be more present

(WARNING: This post is really just an excuse to show off vacation photos of my cute kiddos)

I work in news.  And for some reason it feels like there has been A LOT of news lately.  This means the show I produce for is doing great (breaking into the top 10 shows on cable) but my work/life balance is incredibly out of whack.  I have been that mother on the phone at every t-ball practice and checking email with one hand while giving a bath with the other. As my husband will be the first to tell you, I ALWAYS try and do too much.  This means I am constantly stressed and frazzled. So I decided I needed a bit of “perspective” and packed up my kids for a quick summer trip to grandma’s house.  For anyone who knows me well you know: A) My mother lives on the beach in Hawaii B) Nobody is better at relaxing than my mom (aka: Maui Mary).  But first I was tasked with taking two kids on a 7 hour plane ride by myself.  I promised myself ahead of time that I would be patient, put away my phone and give my kids my full attention.  And it worked!  When our plane was delayed and we had to de-board you could feel the tension.  But not because of the delay.  It was because I had pulled out the phone.  As soon as I put it back and focused on the kids they were little angels (kind of) again.  When we finally reached the sweet smell of fresh Maui air the kids were exhausted.  A full day of traveling at it was only 1pm in paradise.  I dropped the kids’ stuff in their room and noticed a sign on the wall that read, “Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  Today is a gift.”  And I vowed to be present for this one week. I put away the phone and savored every moment. Maui Mary taught us all to relax.We did not over program.  I have been to Hawaii a lot so there was nothing we needed to see or do.  My son spent hours upon hours playing with other kids in the pool and on the rooftop.  Mimi taught him how to make his own flower leis and dance the hula.  She showed him where the turtles hung out in front of her condo and the nest a family of birds built on her lanai. Together they hunted for lizards and geckos. Mimi let him do really ‘important jobs’ like checking the mail and pushing the buttons in the elevator.  We spent time enjoying the smallest things – coloring, doing puzzles and reading books. My daughter became a fashionista, sporting a different bathing suit every day.  She picked out sunglasses and wore them everywhere we went.  She pointed at other kids her age and asked to play with the “other babies.”  She tried to steal my cocktails every time I looked away (no, she was never successful).  And she fell in love with Mimi’s rocking chair which looks right out over the ocean.  When she was tired she would just point to it and say “rock.”  I spent more hours than I can count in that rocking chair and loved every moment.

Every day we had two big decisions to make:

1) BEACH   OR POOL?   2) WHERE TO WATCH SUNSET?

We took two big “excursions” – one to the aquarium and the other to a luau so the kids could watch the fire dancing and perform on stage (my kids love to dance and were just on the cover of our local paper dancing at a concert)We avoided the things that make me crazy with kids – long meals out, long drives, and long hikes.  We just took time to enjoy each other’s company.  For the first time in a long time I felt truly present with my children.  Now the challenge will be to bring that presence into our real life.  On my first day home I over programmed and over stressed everyone.  I had to take a deep breath and remember the lessons from Hawaii.  Slow down.  Take Time.  Be present.  My son pointed out the beautiful sunset and I smiled.  My daughter pointed to the swing in our yard as a replacement for Mimi’s rocking chair and we spent nearly two hours snuggling and relaxing.    I only pray some of this bliss will carry through when work begins tomorrow.