This year we decided to let our 4 1/2 year-old son make some of his own decisions. Now I am not talking about letting him pick out his own dinner every night (he would just eat chocolate bars) or pick what he wants to do every day (I would spend every hour at the park or swimming pool) but we figured it would be safe for him to start by picking out his own clothes every day. He really embraced this challenge. He dressed in a nice suit to go to meet Santa. He started to love shorts with high socks even in the winter. He thought if a shirt had one bit of color on it that was the same as one bit of color on his bottoms they matched. He never ever wore two socks that matched each other. He put on snow boots even in the summer. And he started to paint his nails Broncos colors despite the fact that others in his school made fun of him for it. He certainly found his own style.
His style even rubbed off on his sister who is in the thick of the terrible twos. She insisted on wearing her socks high just like her brother. She also started to develop her own style, painting her nails in stripes and dots and picking out braids that she liked on pinterest.
So this summer when it was time for my son to cut his hair we let him make a more permanent decision and pick his own hairstyle. As any nearly 5-year-old boy would do he picked a mohawk. He has a lot of hair so the mohawk was quite impressive. But with it came an attitude we were not prepared for. The mohawk made him stand a little taller and talk a little louder. Frankly it made him cocky. He started talking back and disobeying us. We let him keep the mohawk for 4th of July but assured him that if the attitude continued it would be gone.
So last night we put an end to the first major decision he had made in his short life. And with the hair went the attitude. My cute, sweet boy returned.
I struggle with how much freedom to give my kids all the time. My father says I give them way too many choices but I think it is important for them to make some of their own decisions. And one thing I want them to really understand is that there are consequences to every decision. If you eat chocolate for dinner you may not feel well. If you disobey your parents you spend your day in time out not at the playground or pool. If you paint your nails kids may make fun of you. And if you disobey your parents you may not get to keep your crazy mohawk. For every choice you make there is a real consequence so I hope my kids learn to chose wisely.