Everything is NOT OK

My family and I have been having a rough time.  And I know we are not the only ones.  We miss our friends and family and are anxious for things to get back to “normal.” Unfortunately, with cases on the rise that may be a long way off.  This week was especially hard as the coronavirus has really put a strain on our relationships.  I know that what we are going through is NOTHING in comparison to so many others, especially those who have been sick or lost their jobs.  But it is definitely starting to grate on us.  So, I wanted to find some sort of silver lining.  A few weeks ago I started making a “good things” list.  And I wanted to share it with others in an effort to help us all see the bright side of this dark situation.

Back when the virus was first reported and the kids were still in school they were taught to sing “Happy Birthday” two times while washing their hands.  For the first few weeks of quarantine I would smile every time I heard my kids singing in the bathroom.  As time went on and the novelty wore off we tried to find funny ways to cheer each other up.  On April Fool’s Day Alexa and I glued googly eyes to everything in the refrigerator. In May we planned our own at home field day with silly games.  We bought Alexa a kit to raise butterflies.  When they hatched she named each one before setting them free. We made homemade pizza and pasta.  We learned to knit and played games together most nights.  We even bought a dog! These are memories I will never forget.  The time together certainly brought us all closer.

We found a wonderful escape in the mountains.  It was the one place where it felt like everything was OK.  The fresh air helped us clear our heads.  The kids  learned to fish and paddle board.  We took long boat rides and short hikes. We roasted marshmallows and went out for ice cream (with masks of course).  I guess you can say the kids have been forced to spend time with us and maybe, just maybe, they enjoyed it.

Bed time has been a lot different in the age of COVID.  With no real reason for the kids to get up in the morning we let them stay up later and later.  It started with a school assignment to sing karaoke for music class.  My DJ-turned-Engineer husband set up an at home concert that he live streamed and an at home karaoke night.  We danced the nights away with lights and music and ‘shots’ of soda.  Then some of our favorite bands started to live stream concerts.  We played them on the Ipad and danced around the bedroom, tossing the kids on and off the bed.  Reading before bed turned into tickle fights and pleas to stay up later than mommy and daddy.  We coalesced.

My favorite moment came when our neighbors planned a graduation ceremony on our street.  All the kids who were moving on were included – from Kindergarten to college.  Alexa set free her remaining butterflies as part of her “Kindergarten Graduation.”  Parents gave speeches and handed out mock diplomas.  We toasted with fake champagne.  It was so bittersweet to see all the kids wearing masks and socially distancing in a small celebration for something that in other times would have felt momentous.

There are days when I feel like everything is fine and days when I want to break down in tears.  As much as we all try to carry on like everything is normal there is a huge elephant weighing us down.  Actually, worse.  Living in the age of coronavirus feels more like a crab pinching you while an elephant is stepping on your back because you are being pulled in all different directions.

Living in the age of coronavirus feels more like a crab pinching you while an elephant is stepping on your back because you are being pulled in all different directions.

You don’t know whether to hide in your house or go out to a bar.  Some mornings I want to order 500 pounds of meat and two cases of wine and lock the doors and never leave.  Others mornings I want to run out to the gym or a restaurant and pretend like everything is OK.  One day everything is opening up and the next everything is closing down.  It is like whiplash!  Masks are a constant reminder that everything is NOT OK.  My heart aches for the parties, Summer camps and time with friends that my kids are missing.  As we head into a holiday that is usually filled with parades and crowded pool parties and groups gathering for fireworks we will all be reminded that this year nothing is really OK. So if you are searching for a silver lining please start noticing the little good things and remember that we are all in this together.  We will survive and 2020 will be a year we never forget!