After months of suffering from sleep deprivation, I have decided it is time to ‘condition’ my daughter to sleep through the night. The doctor assures me that at nine months old she should be perfectly capable of making it through the night without eating. I just need to start ignoring her cries. But I think deep down a part of me enjoys the middle of the night feedings. I hate the lack of sleep and curse her every time I have to get up at 1am and again at 3am and again at 5am. But I love the time I have alone with her and I love that she is still a baby. I don’t want my youngest child to ever grow up so I keep doing it. Until now. In what is the first of many efforts to help my daughter grow up to be a strong, independent woman I need to retrain her. I have started ignoring her cries. I have stopped running to her every whim. I have to let her go.
This is a reminder to me of how important letting go is in all aspects of life. Right now the world feels like it is on fire. Since the moment a plane was shot out of the sky three weeks ago there has been a bombardment of bad news – a potential war with Russia looming on the horizon, tensions in the Middle East at a fever pitch, and NYC cops using a chokehold to kill a street vendor. Tragedy is all around us. I have listened endlessly to arguments on all sides of these conflicts and the one strand that ties them all together is the inability to let go. Putin and the US cannot move past their Cold War mentalities. Israelis and Palestinians cannot put their angered and complicated relationship behind them and come to the table with a real plan for peace. And NYC cops cannot rid themselves of preconceived notions about the threat posed by repeat petty criminals. The only way to fan the flames is for all sides to learn to let go.
I’m not saying we all need to be Elsa from Frozen and run away from our problems. I am just saying that we all need to learn to put hatred and anger behind us and move forward. When I have a fight with someone at work I need to be the better person, take a deep breath and just get the job done. When my husband snaps at me I have to remind myself that he is under a lot of stress as well. And when my son throws a kicking, screaming fit on the floor for absolutely no reason I have to remember that he’s two and acting like a typical two-year-old.
Today I read ugly online comments slung between two of my former bosses – Larry King and Piers Morgan. It felt so childish and unnecessary especially in such a public setting. Clearly these two grown men have not learned the lesson I am trying to instill in my life and teach my children: In order to move forward we must first let go. As my yoga instructor so eloquently put it, “Letting go of something doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough, it can be because you choose not to carry it.” So, on this Friday when the world is on fire and we are ending what for me was an incredibly stressful couple of weeks I hope we can all sing loudly these three important words: LET IT GO!